40+ Signs you found “The One”

June 23, 2021

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40+ Signs You’re Destined to Be Together

Many people believe that they have a soulmate, someone who is made specifically for them.

When you meet your other half and feel as if the world has finally come into balance, it’s easy to assume this person was predestined just for you — but how can you tell?

Here are the signs that you’re destined to be together, as shared by experts.

Elisa Robyn, PhD

Elisa Robyn

Consultant | Coach

You feel safe alone and safe in public with this person

This might sound redundant, but actually, these are two different situations in which you want to trust this person. When you are alone, do you know you are honored, respected, and safe? That is step one.

What about when you are with other people? You should feel the same way, rather than shamed or at risk in some way. A person can be lovely in private but put us down in public or put us in physical danger.

Conversely, we might be uncomfortable in private but find the person to be charming in public. When we are secure in both settings, we know the relationship is meaningful, and the other person is being honest with us.

You enjoy being together and also enjoy your time alone

When we are connected to someone at a deep level, we love being with them, but also feel supported and full when we are alone. We each have our own friends and activities and enjoying sharing this information when we are together.

You have stopped looking for a soul mate and the perfect person

There are numerous people in the world who might have a soul mate relationship, but this does not mean we will be in an intimate relationship with them.

When we fall in love with someone without trying to make them our best friend, confidant, soulmate, lover, mentor, and a dozen other things, we are falling in love with who they are.

When we look past their quirks and love their character

Can you separate a person’s quirks and see their character, and can they do the same for you? Does one of you collect sports memorabilia while the other fills the house with seashells and rocks?

Those are quirks, not indications of a person’s character. It is more important to know they are honest and share your values.

You have shared dreams for the future

This might be the strongest link that holds people together. Not only do we share values, love each other’s character, be proud of our partner, feel supported and valued, but we share dreams for the future.

Amber Artis

Amber Artis photo

Certified Matchmaker & Relationship Expert | CEO, Select Date Society

You feel “at home” when you’re together

When you are destined to be together, there is a sense of safety and belonging when you are in each other’s presence. You have a sense that you could live anywhere with this person, and it would feel like home.

Your partner is your safe place

They are the one person that you can share anything with. You can talk about your hopes, dreams, failures, and secrets. When you are with the right person, you can share openly without fear of judgment.

You laugh easily together

I’ve successfully matched over 2,000 couples, and one common thread they all have is the ability to laugh easily together. When you are with the right person, they understand your sense of humor.

You are both willing to work on the relationship

Even the best relationships will face challenges and go through difficult times. When you’re with the right person, you both remain committed to making things work even when it may be easier to just walk away.

You have a strong physical attraction that stays strong even after you’ve been together for years

Some relationships start with intense chemistry that fades over time. When you are destined to be together, that initial attraction doesn’t go away. In fact, it may even become stronger after spending decades together.

Related: 28 Signs of Good Chemistry Between a Man and a Woman

The two of you bring balance to each other’s lives

One of you may be type A, and the other one is more laid back. You may be outgoing, and your partner may be an introvert. The best relationships are made up of two different people whose strengths make up for the other’s weaknesses.

You don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not when you are together

I have a friend who hides his cigar habit when he begins dating someone new. I know that when he finally meets someone who he doesn’t have to hide things from, she’ll be “the one!”

When you are with the person you are destined to be with, you can be yourself completely.

They make you a better version of yourself

You can be yourself with this person, but they inspire you to be even more! Their love and support motivate you to grow together and have you striving to be the best version of you!

Todd and Diana Mitchem

Todd and Diana Mitchem

Certified Relationship Coaches and Advisors, Peak Relationship Center

Finding new love and building a robust, long-lasting relationship takes effort and time to nurture. However, we notice three distinct signs early in a relationship that demonstrate a couple will have staying power.

Understanding is at the forefront

The first three months of any relationship are very telling.

  • Does your new partner argue frequently?
  • Are they impatient?
  • Do they seem annoyed about your little quirks?

These would be bad indicators.

However, if you have a new partner who is always focused on:

  • understanding you
  • understanding your ideas
  • understanding your thinking

These will be a powerful indicator of compatibility.

This understanding focus will manifest in different ways, but if immediately your partner seeks to understand rather than judge or stop your comments, this is a good sign.

Your priorities align

This is a key and often overlooked moment in an early relationship. When people first meet, they usually do just about anything the other wants them to do. But the couples we see who have staying power naturally have the same priorities in life and relationship.

Misaligning on this topic is a problem.

For example, a woman who defines partnership as a dedicated love relationship where each person makes time for the other, they both share home duties, and romance is vital, would not do well to be in a relationship with a partner who wanted to put work first, and who sees the partnership as one of the many aspects of their lives rather the most important aspect.

Priority alignment in critical areas like where to live, time together, kids, holiday gatherings, seeing extended family, money, and kind of lifestyle are all key indicators of a great or terrible relationship.

Sexual compatibility

Many people don’t want to talk about this critical topic, but we have seen many a love relationship fall apart over misaligned sexual desires. Sexual compatibility is a crucial component to making a partnership work in the long term. We do not subscribe to the idea that sexual desire should fade over time.

Related: 10 Great Sex Tips for a Happy Relationship (Turn Bedroom Blues into Blue Skies)

In fact, we feel the opposite. Sexual desire is an extension of a loving relationship. Therefore, it must be robust and aligned with each partner. This concept goes beyond the first year of a relationship or a marriage.

Certainly, in the early stages of a new partnership, people may be more giving and adventurous in their sex life, but after the first year, sexual desire, amount of sex, and kinds of sexual activity should remain aligned.

Rev. Martin L. Dunne III, M.Div., CPA

Martin Dunne

Author, “What Could a Priest Know About Marriage?

They make you feel safe, at-home, comfortable, and at peace

No matter how good you and the other together may seem “on paper,” a must for your relationship to be destiny is this intangible, indescribable quality that is the greatest contributor to your being in love.

It is a feeling which makes you feel safe, at-home, comfortable, and (most especially) at peace.

You delight in them as they are

Something about them, that you can’t quite completely describe, gives you such a fire within you that you want to spend each moment with them, such that, “forever’s not enough!”

You don’t just accept all of who the other is, you delight in them—as they are! This especially includes traits that they, may feel even feel insecure about. You love everything about them because it’s them.

They motivate you to be the best you could be

The realization that you found the greatest treasure in the other spurs you to be better—to be the best you could be! You find yourself having a motivation you know you could not receive in any better way! You’re driven to look “under every stone” to find the best ways you are able to love the other in every possible way!

You want to be radically transparent with them

The single best way to love is to be radically transparent with them. You are overwhelmed with this delightful desire to share with them everything, even those parts you are not proud of sharing. You hold absolutely nothing back because you want to become one with this person!

The things you have dismissed as “no big deal” before are a big deal now

Holding nothing back includes this burning desire for doing everything you possibly can to be the best you can be. In a particular way, you are driven to free yourself of any and all vices which prevent you from being the best version of yourself.

Things that may have been dismissed as, “no big deal” before are a big deal now because you realize the object of your love deserves nothing less than the best. Whatever the pain or cost involved, you, comparatively speaking, do not care.

You joyfully persevere in your hope that your beloved will be the main source to help you achieve this freedom!

You are willing to do anything for this person

The word, “sacrifice” means “to make holy.” You are willing to do anything, short of selling your soul, for this person. You even delight in the pain you may feel, as it is the deepest expression of how your love is holding nothing back.

You’re not looking for anything in return; you just want to love

Integrity can be a sacrificial way doing what you are meant to do at all times—even when no one is looking! Even if you think no one would ever know about you making the wrong choice (or even making the right choice), you make the right choice anyway.

Even if the one you love never knows you did the good things and avoided the bad, you actually delight in the reality that everything, even those things that go completely unnoticed, are the expressions of just how deep your love is! You’re not looking for anything in return. You just want to love!

You both are striving to give everything you can in every way possible

This is the most important requirement of them all! The other has to feel the same way (zing, delight, motivation, transparency, fire, and sacrifice) every bit as strongly as you do!

Regardless of who may be giving more on any particular day, what matters the most is that both are striving to give everything they feel they can give in every way possible.

Your relationship gives joy

Couples that are meant to be together can’t help but radiate a love that uplifts those around them. I’ve seen, numerous times, couples of all ages that just can’t help but uplift everyone around them. Over and over I’ve seen these strangers smile in a way you usually only witness in a newborn baby.

Your relationship gives joy, but more importantly it gives hope! What can be a better sign of the legitimacy of your relationship?

Michelle Fedrizzi

Michelle Fedrizzi

Reiki Master and Life Coach | Founder and Owner, Auric

Nowadays, there are so many options for people to choose from that it could be overwhelming, especially because it’s right at our fingertips which makes instant gratification a thing!

Have you been craving and wanting your one true lover- but can’t seem to know if you have found the right one or if there are still plenty of options in the sea to choose from?

Here are a few ways to know for sure that you were destined to be together to put your mind at ease:

You and your partner share the same values and principles

This is important to share the same values because if one person believes honesty is important and the other does not share that same value, then it will destroy the relationship.

Most of the time, relationships do not work out because you do not share the same values.

Get to know your person and ask them first what values do they hold dear to themselves and see if yours align- if they do then you have found another clue as to this is your person!

The two of you love to travel and experience adventures and foods together

It is rare for two parties to love the same things, from food to travel ideas, and of course, travel tells us if we share the same type of idea of fun.

If you two love to go on adventures and travel together and sync up through travel with no arguments that is another sure sign that you are destined to travel the world and create adventures together!

You both are committed to become a better version of yourself for yourself and your partner

Relationships take work, and both parties have to be committed to doing the work no matter how hard it gets. When you are both willing to show up and committed to the end, that is a great sign that you two are destined to be and stay together!

You see signs of this person everywhere you go, the two of you always can read each other’s minds and there is a strong powerful force between the two of you. This person is your other half and because of that you will always see reminders of them but also when you are together things magically come together so easily and effortlessly.

No matter how many times life pulls you apart you always come back together and even better than before. Life happens but when two people are meant to be together the universe always makes a way for them to be together. You can not stay away from each other for too long.

Sam Whittaker

sam whittaker

Relationship Expert and Editor, Mantelligence

Falling in love is one of the best feelings in the world. What’s even better is when you know you’re in love with the one you’re destined to be with. It feels like it’s hard to find “the one,” but there are signs to watch out for.

Here are four signs you’re destined to be together:

You can be vulnerable to each other

If you’re able to spill out all your deepest and darkest secrets, and it feels liberating, it’s a good sign. If you trust someone and can confide in your partner without any awkward air, there’s a deeper connection there.

You can argue respectfully

It’s normal for couples to fight now and then. No relationship’s perfect in that sense. It’s part of the relationship.

Related: How Often Do Couples Argue or Fight in a Healthy Relationship

However, when you agree to disagree when fighting, it means the connection is making you both mature. You don’t end the day without concluding a fight. You both respect each other’s side.

Your values align

Nothing’s more important than having your values align with someone. It’s hard to be with someone who doesn’t share your values. If your values align even to the smallest detail, being with each other is the right thing.

You fit like a puzzle

You share the same interests, but your differences complement each other. There’s no better way to explain it. If you work together like a puzzle, you’re meant to be together.

Francisco Remolino

Francisco Remolino

Licensed Insolvency Trustee, Remolino Associates

You respect each other’s different perspectives

My wife and I don’t always see eye-to-eye. However, I know our relationship is meant to last because we argue respectfully.

We’ve always allowed the other person to speak his/her mind but over the years, we’ve come to appreciate each other’s different perspectives. This has only made us each other even more and our relationship has become stronger in the process.

Bottom line: Couples in a mature relationship are destined to be together when they can respect each other’s different perspectives, when they become curious instead of furious.

Ray Sadoun

Ray Sadoun

Medical Reviewer & Addiction Advocate, OK Rehab

How they make you feel and behave

  1. You feel safe in their presence
  2. You never want to say goodbye
  3. If you could choose to spend time with anyone in the world, it would be them
  4. You are willing to deal with their flaws if it means you get to be loved by them
  5. You want to take care of them in any way you can
  6. After a bad day, they are the only person you want to see
  7. You have made them one of the top priorities in your life
  8. Even after an argument, you know that you would choose them over anyone
  9. You do not need to be doing anything exciting to enjoy spending time with them
  10. You stick by each other through thick and thin

How you make them feel and behave

  1. They light up when they get to see you
  2. They text or call you just to ask how you are
  3. They gloat about you to their family and friends
  4. They talk about building a future with you
  5. Their loved ones say that they have never looked happier
  6. They feel comfortable expressing their deepest emotions around you
  7. They defend you even when you are not there
  8. They support you with your goals and ambitions
  9. They put in the effort to arrange dates
  10. When you feel like a failure, they remind you of your worth