How to shift gears and get your dating life on track!

July 8, 2020

It’s interesting that when you are single you notice all the happy couples so much more than when you are in a relationship. It’s almost like there is a spotlight that shines down and makes them stand out to you because this is the missing piece in your world. I liken it to when you break up with someone and all you notice is the car they drove when you are out and about… It’s almost like they have multiplied and pop up everywhere since your breakup. This definitely substantiates that what you pay attention to gets bigger!

If that premise is true, then how do we take our dating life that is not exciting and not fulfilling and turn it around to where we are wanting to date and actually enjoy the journey. This would be in huge contrast to just praying for the end goal. I am going to share with you some strategies that can turn the tide on the all encumbering dating world and give you the opportunity to make strides in the right direction. You will see the quality of your dating life progress and also believe that the effort put forth is actually all worth it.

Let’s start with how we go about putting ourselves “out there”. Today many people that have the luxury of outsourcing any task that they don’t enjoy. Typically they hire a professional to cut to the chase and get to the end result with minimal time consumption on their part. But what do you do when you are not in the position to do that and still want to move the needle in the right direction in your dating endeavors?

First I would begin with this question “What do I enjoy doing?” The best avenue to meet someone who has like interest is to join a club where you have the opportunity to meet someone who already enjoys something you love to do. Should you arrive and they are all married or too young or too old, then you need to let them know you are single and advocate for yourself that you are looking for a partner. Don’t be shy here, because like anything else in life, if you don’t ask you won’t receive! Sourcing introductions is easy, but many times I think we feel it seems desperate. I can guarantee you that you won’t care when the introduction pays off! The guy/gal you meet will not care either! This may be a challenge for you, but most people would agree that they love to play matchmaker. They don’t see it as an intrusion or that you can’t find a date, they see it as you trust their judgment with your love life. What it actually says is that you are selective and want to meet men/women that are equally bringing qualities to the table that you bring and offer as well. Mindset is everything and if you can shift yourself from feeling that you are lacking without a partner, but rather you are selective in looking for a partner, you will attract better options. You will also help yourself in evading and avoiding any future divorce, which in itself is a win!

So the take away is that dating can be exactly what you make it based on your effort and mindset. We do have control if we make the effort and the rest that we don’t, we can still choose to have fun regardless of the outcome. Attitude is reflective and you will put off whatever belief system you decide to carry around with you. You will never know the opportunities missed when you have chosen to treat this aspect of your life as a chore. Believe me men and woman both know where you stand in this, especially when you show up on the date. Don’t wait for things to happen, be proactive and have an effect on what happens here! I wish everyone all the best and happy dating!