I know many times when you meet someone new it can be so exciting and almost feel like your walking on a cloud! The sparks fly and it’s hard to ascertain whether that’s just pure chemistry or a true connection? Most of us don’t want to look at the red flags that are popping up along the way because the feeling of being connected with somebody in a special way, outweighs the fear of being disappointed in the end.
The laws of attraction typically draw someone to us because they are different, however, unfortunately this is not always in our best interest. These are not people that would make for a good partner and this is why we are so alluring to them. If you wonder why the divorce rates are close to 60%, it’s that half hazard meetings typically don’t work out well.
If you think about it, when you may stand out to someone it’s probably because you’re bringing something to the table that they don’t have and are unwilling to give. This makes you incredibly interesting to them. The problem here, is that when you’re looking for a true partner to reciprocate what you’re willing to give in a relationship, it is unlikely you will get it in return under these circumstances.
We really need to pay attention to the core values and intentions that this person has for his/her life, which is what would be your future if you were to remain in a committed long term relationship.
Ignoring the signs for the thrill of the romance may be fun at first, but there is a hard price to pay on the back end when we ignore them. Meeting somebody through someone is always the best way to go, just do to the fact you will have insight and influence as to why the two of you should be together.
It will save you a lot of time and heartache and give you an opportunity to actually have a long-term committed relationship. Don’t settle on anyone just because you feel there aren’t enough men or women out there that would fit the bill. The litmus test should always be “Do they truly enhance your world? Do they create an atmosphere to where you feel better with them in your life than you did on your own? “
The strategies would be to avoid diving in too quickly. When you don’t know who you are dealing with, or have a reference point for this person, take time to get to know them. Secondarily, try to minimize random encounters by either introductions through friends, family, a matchmaker or coworkers. You want the introduction to be someone that you have background information on and understand what their goals and intentions are for a future relationship.
Should you meet someone where you have limited information, then take your time to get to know them and ask questions. Pay attention to whether their actions and words are actually adding up. It is also good idea to get them around your friends, as your friends will most likely have the best radar for you! In the age of information you can learn a lot about someone online and there are resources for you to get some insight upfront, if you choose to do the leg work. Instincts and intuition have a huge role to play in your effectiveness in dating, should you choose to pay attention to them.
Most clients we speak to have said, they knew it was wrong from the start, but they didn’t listen to themselves. The head and the heart are hard to get on the same page, especially when the attraction is intense. It is wise to share your true feelings about what you think and feel with your friends, rather than angling what has happened to make the person look better than they actually are. It is a fools game to do this, but most of us know we have done it probably many times over.
The truth shall set you free and soften the fall if you allow it. Make wise choices and think about how much time you want to invest with someone especially when problems arise in the beginning stage of your relationship. I don’t care what anyone says about this, but time does not make things better or deepen a relationship magically on it’s own. The benefit of the doubt is not always the best coarse of action. Think bigger and better and challenge yourself to want more for yourself! I know you would encourage anyone you love to do the same. Love is great when you allow yourself the luxury to find a great Love!