When did it become OK?

July 18, 2021

A Matchmaker asks “When did it become “OK” to give up on Love?”

It’s interesting having been a Matchmaker for over 25 years now, to see how far the dating industry has come. Unfortunately, the passage of time has not influenced the dating arena in the right direction necessarily. It wasn’t long ago that singles actually prepared for a date, got excited about a date, and focused on the bird in the hand; rather than the two in the tree.

The overexposed dating scene has watered down the quality of the dating pool to where the well-intended singles are left feeling disenchanted. Singles are now more apt to convince themselves that they would be perfectly “OK“ to remain single; rather than pursue a relationship.

I hear it every day. “I am fine on my own, I am not desperate, and I have a full life…” It goes on and on. I am not sure why we have become so accepting of not finding the person we were meant to be with? As Matchmakers, we see what happens when clients meet their person. We also see how exponentially fulfilled their lives become. My hope is that we don’t get so “OK” with being alone that singles are willing to pass up the most incredible feeling in the world…. Being in Love!

Most successful people want to achieve their end goal. It’s what makes them successful. The trouble with this particular area of life is that there is no equation for guaranteed success. Often this makes focusing on your personal life less enticing, as its unfamiliar territory. The natural inclination is to retreat. I wonder if all of these successful singles, when going through school and applying for jobs, would have retreated because there was no guarantee?

Love is an action and it is something that moves us in many ways. You have to ask yourself “Am I willing to lean in and get uncomfortable and continue to believe it will all be worth it, or will I choose the path of least resistance, out of fear of being disappointed?” If you evade and avoid love then you will miss out on an experience that is life changing.  If you are driven to succeed in the same way you have achieved all other success, then you can look forward to a deep and true love.

Love is worth the risk! Clients have shared with me that it’s like giving birth. You don’t remember the pain of it, once you arrive at the finish line. 🙂 Nothing worth having comes easy. This is no different. The way in which you walk through the journey matters. When you can have an open mind and learn something from each date, then things will progress well. If you date with the idea that this person is not good enough for you, then you are doing yourself a disservice and missing out on potential network opportunities down the road.

Here is an example: A few years ago, a client arrived at the restaurant where she met her date and immediately did not like him. She was short and rude and wound up leaving abruptly. Funny enough, a few weeks later, she sees him out and with a handsome guy that she was highly interested in meeting. When she approached him, he had not forgotten her behavior.  He was not at all rude but was in no way going to help her with an introduction to his friend. I shared with her that she should always want to leave a great impression. This is a small world and you want to consider networking for your personal life the same way you do for your business life.

The message here is that whether you work with a Matchmaker, have friends set you up, or date online, you need to keep yourself invested in finding your person. You don’t want to leave this earth without knowing the kind of love you only thought imaginable.