What causes a lack of physical intimacy in a relationship? Usually, this is the result of problems with communication, mental health conditions (e.g., depression or anxiety), highly different lifestyles, negative experiences, or even… the challenges of parenthood. Thankfully, there are ways to overcome these obstacles.
How to deal with a lack of physical intimacy and rebuild it in your relationship? Start by communicating your concerns with your partners; become more romantic; reserve time for physical intimacy; and finally, separate your sex life from physical intimacy. Do you want to learn more? Then, keep reading!
What Causes the Lack of Physical Intimacy in a Relationship?
Let’s begin with the problems—the causes of the lack of physical intimacy. What should you look out for?
Highly Different Lifestyles
If you and your partner have completely different lifestyles, your schedules vary significantly, and you have conflicting life goals, your physical intimacy is bound to suffer. You have two options to address this issue:
- make compromises,
- break up.
This is a common problem among elite singles. If you do not date like-minded people or other affluent singles, for instance, by working with a high-end matchmaker, you will often end up dating women or men who cannot keep up with you or seek something completely different in life.
Communication Issues
Lack of communication is one of the signs that your relationship is over—you need to remember that. At the same time, it does not exclusively mean that you should break up—it is just the first of many indicators. Plus, with a lack of communication comes a lack of physical intimacy.
Therefore, you need to react as soon as communication issues occur. Otherwise, it might be too late to rebuild physical intimacy and save your relationship.
Mental Health Conditions
Sometimes, the lack of physical intimacy is caused by external factors, such as mental health conditions. Anxiety or depression might cause you or your partner to seek physical affection less often (or to avoid it at all). On the one hand, you need to accept it, but on the other, you should consider professional help, as such problems won’t disappear overnight.
Negative Experiences
Yes, your negative experiences in the past might affect your physical intimacy. Whether it’s a humiliating situation in bed or a trauma from a previous relationship, this may cause the breakdown of your physical intimacy.
Parenthood Challenges
Children are the apple of your eye. Yet, bringing them up is a bumpy road full of obstacles and challenges. The first years, especially, might be challenging and impact your physical intimacy as a result.
How to deal with it? Why don’t you go on a vacation, just the two of you? Surely, you might not want to leave your children with your relatives, but you both need to relax and find time for yourself and re-spark the passion you once had.
How to Build and Increase Physical Intimacy in a Relationship?
You know the causes and some solutions to them. Now, let’s look at more effective ways to build physical intimacy.
Talk to Your Partner
If you feel that there is insufficient physical intimacy in your relationship, don’t be afraid to voice your concerns to your partner. It’s the best way to solve this issue—you can talk it through and agree on an action plan, especially if the lack of intimacy is caused by a lack of time, as this is an opportunity to find time windows for you to share with your partner.
Be More Romantic
You should also try to become more romantic and increase physical intimacy naturally. For instance, you can check out our winter date ideas, pick one that your partner will love, and try it out!
Reserve Time for Physical Intimacy
Are you and your partner busy and successful? Then, you might have tight schedules. In such situations, we recommend saving some time just for physical intimacy. Find and plan moments when you can cuddle together, design a sexy bedroom, and test it. Yes, this might seem slightly forced since you plan such intimacy, but sometimes, it’s the best way to ensure you can share those moments together.
Separate Sex from Physical Intimacy
Finally, you should remember that physical intimacy does not equal sex. Cuddling or holding hands is also intimate. Hence, if you seek more physical intimacy, draw a line between it and sex—make sure that the former does not always have to end in the latter and embrace small gestures.
The Takeaway
You now know what causes the lack of physical intimacy and how to increase it. Remember, the basis is always communication and empathy—you need not only to share your needs but also understand your partner’s expectations.
You might also read: How to Build Trust in a New and Old Relationship?