- Confidence, excellent manners, financial stability, self-awareness, or a great sense of humor—do you know what women really want from a man? If not (or you’re unsure), read this article, as it’s full of insights from our professional matchmakers!
What Do Women Really Want from a Man?
So, which traits are the most important? What does almost every woman wants to see in a man? Here’s what we’ve observed over the 25 years in professional matchmaking:
Confidence
The first thing that will attract women to you is confidence. If you emit an aura of confidence, they will see you and likely want to approach you. This trait is even more important than looks. At the same time, you shouldn’t be over-confident or arrogant, as this will make the women reject you. So, you need to find the balance
Also, while looks don’t matter that much, you should remember that they’re strongly tied to your self-confidence. Thus, if you feel that you’re more attractive after a fresh haircut or in your top-notch suit, look into yourself and consider what these things really give you—is it just a better look or a boost of self-esteem?
Respect
Women want their man to respect them; a man who might disagree with them but will always have their back and let them make their own decisions, a man who can listen and give advice but doesn’t force his opinions. Showing this respect is crucial but also tricky—sometimes, you can act disrespectfully without such intentions.
His Own Life
Having your own life (both for men and women) is a sign that a relationship will last and most women know it, either consciously or subconsciously. While women want men to be committed, they don’t want them to give up all for their love life; at the same time, women expect men to give them some space for their own friends and hobbies. In a nutshell, this means that women want you to be committed but not overly committed—you have to find the balance between your shared and
individual lives.
Sense of Humor
Women want men with a sense of humor, full stop. This isn’t just our observation—it was scientifically proven as well! What’s more, the study called Humor style and relationship satisfaction in dating couples: perceived versus self-reported humor styles as predictors of satisfaction showed that your sense of humor doesn’t have to be identical. However, you need to be able to make each other laugh, so that’s what really matters.
Emotional Vulnerability
Yes, women want you to be emotionally vulnerable. While it might sound counterintuitive (especially since they want you to be self-confident as well), it makes a lot of sense. You shouldn’t be open with your feelings to everyone and you should be self-confident enough to share your emotions with the woman you love—this is what it’s really about. They want to see your emotional side, so don’t try to play macho—it won’t work!
Sensitivity
Do you show kindness, patience, understanding, compassion, and nurture your partner? This is the type of sensitivity that women want from men. You need to be supportive and don’t take their problems for granted. Also, remember that when a woman tells you about her issues, she doesn’t necessarily ask you for a solution; instead, she might seemingly strive for emotional support and empathy, so that’s what you should give her.
Initiative
We might live in times when women are emancipated and it’s no longer unusual for them to take initiative. But does it mean you have to rely on them to do so? No! While women are more confident than ever and might make the first step, what they really want is for you to take the initiative. You’re planning a weekend getaway? Plan it out yourself (but consult her—you don’t want to make decisions without her). There’s a problem with your meal at a restaurant? Take over the initiative and call the waiter for her. At the same time, be mindful of her boundaries—every woman wants you to take the initiative, but the extent to which this should occur depends on the person.
The Takeaway
Confidence, respect, a life of your own, sense of humor, emotional vulnerability, sensitivity and initiative—these are the 7 most important traits that women look for in men. You can work on all of them (though some require more effort than others), so there’s no place for excuses. We keep our fingers crossed!
You might also read: How to Date a Busy Successful Woman? 6 Important Tips
References:
- Cann, Arnie & Davis, Heather & Zapata, Christine. (2011). Humor style and relationship satisfaction in dating couples: Perceived versus self-reported humor styles as predictors of satisfaction. Humor – International Journal of Humor Research. 24. 1-20. 10.1515/humr.2011.001.
- Humor Research. 24. 1-20. 10.1515/humr.2011.001.
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Frequently Asked Questions
A matchmaker at Select Date Society carefully curates and connects you with compatible, high-quality singles based on your values, lifestyle, and goals. We handle everything from vetting potential matches to offering personalized coaching and ongoing support saving you time and ensuring meaningful, lasting relationships with discretion and professionalism.
At Select Date Society, we recommend starting with trusted referrals or searching for matchmakers who specialize in elite, personalized matchmaking. Look for proven experience, strong privacy standards, and a hands-on approach. Book a consultation to ensure their process aligns with your expectations. Transparency and confidentiality are key qualities. Select Date Society proudly upholds to help you find meaningful connections with discretion and care.
While we specialize in serving ultra-high-net-worth and successful singles, our services are available to discerning individuals seeking a professional, confidential matchmaking experience.