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5 Subtle Signs You Are Dating a Manipulator and How to Spot Them Early

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January 14, 2025

How do you know if you’re dating a manipulative person? Finding it out might be difficult; after all, the whole point of manipulation is that you don’t see that you’re being manipulated. Nevertheless, there are some clear signs that you should look out for. What are they? Find it out in this article!

How to Know You’re Dating a Manipulator? 5 Signs

Lying, blaming you, gaslighting—these are all signs that you are dating a manipulator. However, it’s not always easy to spot them. If you’re being manipulated, you might not see the lies or the blame put on you without a valid reason. Thankfully, there are subtle ways to recognize all the signs (as there is more to it than the three mentioned above). Let’s look into all of them in more detail.

Lying

Whether dating a narcissist or an emotional liar, there is one thing in common—your partner is a master at lying. They might be exaggerating things; they might be outright lying. It’s really difficult to spot these lies.

However, you can see through these lies if you caught your partner red-handed. Their reaction will be the best sign whether you’re dating a manipulator or not. If you do, your partner will try to… lie their way out of the situation, gaslight you, or even blame you for their lying. These behaviors tell you that staying in a relationship with them might not be healthy.

Gaslighting

Gaslighting does not have to be as big as in the movie it took its name from. Calling you ‘crazy’ or ‘over-sensitive’ might also be gaslighting—a sign that you’re dating a manipulative person.

If your partner tries to make you feel unworthy of him (or anybody) by such statements or even bigger actions, this means that they’re likely manipulating you. They might be doing this to boost their own self-esteem, or they might be doing this to get away with things—the reason doesn’t matter. What matters is that you won’t feel good about yourself with your partner and that they are a manipulator.

dating a manipulative person signs

Passive-Aggressive Behavior

How else do you know that you’re dating a manipulator? Passive-aggressive behavior might be a sign of that. It is a common avoidance tactic that may indicate that your partner is trying to manipulate you to bring you off a particular topic.

Additionally, behaviors like sighing or coughing to get your attention are also instances of passive-aggressive manipulation, so… watch out for them!

Bringing You out of Your Comfort Zone

Another way you’ll know you’re dating a manipulator is if you see they try to bring you out of your comfort zone. Unfamiliar places, large crowds (if you’re an introvert)—they’ll use all of that to make you feel uncomfortable and expose you to manipulation.

Naturally, you need to be reasonable with this. If your partner tries to bring you out of your comfort zone from time to time, this means that they might want you to experience new situations or feel more confident. But, if this happens too often and your partner uses this to lie to you, convince you to do things, or lower your self-esteem, it’s a sign that you should leave them ASAP.

You Feel That Something’s Wrong

Sometimes, the signs aren’t as visible, but there are other ways to see you’re dating a manipulative person. For instance, if your instinct tells you something’s wrong, it might indicate that you’re being manipulated.

The natural instinct is to ignore your gut and convince yourself that everything is fine—forget about it. If you feel something’s wrong, stop for a moment and think about your partner’s behavior. Perhaps you’ll then see the other signs from our list proving that they were manipulating you.

The Takeaway

Dating a manipulative person may lead to lower self-esteem or even move you away from people who truly care about you: your family and friends. So, watch out for the signs we’ve mentioned in this article, and if you spot them, confront your partner. If they’re really a manipulator, they’ll try to weasel their way out of the situation, and that’s the proof you need. Don’t stay with a manipulator and don’t believe them to change—it’s highly unlikely to happen, and it’s not worth sacrificing your happiness for them.

Did you like this article? You may also read: Dating Red Flags – How to Spot Potential Relationship Pitfalls?

About the author

Select Date Society

Select Date Society started with the idea that singles today needed a more sophisticated approach to excel in the dating arena. The one-size-fits-all approach of most services, whether online dating or personal matchmaking, doesn’t produce the results clients desire. In listening to the experiences of singles for decades, our Matchmakers know the value of our personalized membership tailored to an individual client’s needs. Our proprietary approach in the dating arena affords singles the optimal opportunity for success.