Building emotional intimacy is the key to any successful relationship. Without it, you will not feel comfortable with your partner, and the bond between the two of you will not be as strong as it should be. But how do you build emotional intimacy in a new relationship? We have the answers you need! Read this article to find out more!
How to Build Emotional Intimacy in a New or Long-Lasting Relationship? Our 8 Tips and Exercises for Couples
So, what emotional intimacy exercises do you need? How do you build or increase it in a new relationship with your current partner? Below, you will find our 8 tips for couples.
1. Make Plans for Intimacy
You may leave a busy life that makes it harder to develop emotional intimacy. However, this should not stop you.
Building emotional intimacy requires finding time and places appropriate for strengthening your bond. Hence, we recommend that you look at your and your partner’s schedule and establish fixed times every week just for the two of you.
2. Start a New Hobby Together
Starting a new activity is a great bonding experience, especially when you’re both… bad at it. Try dance lessons, cooking lessons, or a new sport, and enjoy your time together while building emotional intimacy.
3. Laugh Together
This might not be an emotional-intimacy-building exercise, but rather a guideline: laugh together whenever possible. It is scientifically proven [1] that genuine laughter can strengthen the bond in a relationship, so nothing should stop you from cracking a few jokes and having fun!
4. Don’t Be Afraid to Be Vulnerable
Feeling comfortable being vulnerable with your partner is one primary way to build emotional intimacy. Therefore, if you feel vulnerable and you trust your partner, don’t be afraid to share your feelings with them.
5. Show Affection
How to effectively build emotional intimacy with a man or a woman without too much effort? Just show them affection! Whether physical or psychological, it will help you strengthen your connection with your partner. Even small gestures matter, so don’t forget that.
Along with affection, you should also show your appreciation. Again, even the tiniest acts of kindness matter, so don’t be afraid to give your partner a peck on the cheek after they’ve made you coffee in the morning or to compliment them when they did something for you.
6. Forget About the Past
Whether it’s previous relationships or an argument you had with your partner a few years ago, if you stick to the past, you will find building emotional intimacy much harder. Therefore, you need to learn how to forgive and let go of the past—this will be especially helpful if you are looking for ways to rebuild your emotional intimacy after it was broken.
7. Learn Active Listening
Active listening is the skill of attuning to your partner’s thoughts and feelings. It’s a skill that you can exercise and use to improve your emotional intimacy. How do you do this?
- Understand your listening style and attune to it.
- Make active, conscious decisions when listening to your partner. To use this technique to improve your emotional intimacy, you should ask yourself the following questions:
- Why do I need to listen?
- Who/what is the focus of the conversation?
- Who is the focus of the attention in the conversation?
- Am I still listening?
- Should I say something?
- Why am I saying something?
- Am I missing something? If yes, what am I missing?
This requires some practice and a lot of effort, but it’s the best way to ensure that your partner feels heard and understood.
8. Don’t Let the Routine Control You
Switching your autopilot on is easy, especially if you are dating a busy, successful woman like yourself. However, routine is often an intimacy killer.
If you see that your autopilot is taking over every day, you need to break the cycle. Try out something new, change your routine slightly, and invite your partner even for just a cup of coffee when you both have free time—this will be enough to strengthen your intimacy.
The Takeaway
Building or strengthening emotional intimacy may take time and effort, but it’s worth it. It will make you happier and more comfortable in your relationship, which will help you and your partner stay together for years to come!
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References:
- Kurtz, L. E., & Algoe, S. B. (2015). Putting Laughter in Context: Shared Laughter as Behavioral Indicator of Relationship Well-Being. Personal Relationships, 22(4), 573–590. https://doi.org/10.1111/pere.12095